This Woman Tells You Why Divorce Rates Are Increasing & She Couldn’t Have Said It Better

Divorce rates are increasing every passing year in almost every part of the world. And of course, the moral police has never felt more threatened. And when author Arnessa Buljusmic decided to say the unthinkable, of course, sh*t hit the roof. But she went on and made several powerful statements. Her tweets on increasing divorce rates in the world is the most important thing to read on the internet right now.

My favorite thing about America is the divorce rate. & I mean that sincerely.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

I'm also exhausted at immigrants who brag about how the divorce rate is so much lower back home as if it is an accomplishment.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

The reason divorce rates "back home" are so low is because of societal expectations that force women to stay with their husbands.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Lack of access to domestic abuse assistance, stigma surrounding single motherhood, lack of financial independence all contribute to this.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

"Our parents/grandparents stayed together no matter how hard it go". Your grandpa used to beat your grandma and she stayed b/c she had to.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Women got beat, cheated on, used for physical and emotional labor....trust me, they would have wanted to leave had they been able to.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Even now in immigrant communities in the Diaspora the stigma around divorced women is so high that they end up staying in abusive marriages.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Divorce rates got higher in the U.S because it got easier for women to leave. When that happens back home our divorce rates will rise too.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

The romanticized idea of women staying with their husbands "no matter what" is so damaging, toxic, and abusive.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

I remember talking to this old Bosnian woman and her telling me about her life in the village. She had a 60 year long marriage with 7 kids.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Everyone looked at that as "goals" but she told me the day her in-laws passed away & husband passed away was the best day of her life.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

She was abused emotionally & physically. Did all the labor in the house and on the farm. Raised the kids. Her husband? A cheating alcoholic.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

When I asked her why she didn't leave she said "where would I go? Back then if you got divorced you were discarded from society".

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

With no money of their own and multiple kids, women stayed in these marriages only because they had to.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Those "family values" people talk about missing were built entirely on the abuse and fear of women.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Spare me the "ha ha ha America has such a high divorce rate and we don't". We don't get to brag about it when our women are forced to stay.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

Not every one of those long marriages was abusive. My grandparents have been together for 50+ years and had a very healthy marriage.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

But there are exceptions to every rule. The standard was and in many places (back home) still is....abusive marriages.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016

I get a lot of crap for being a divorced single Muslim mother and honestly the stigma is totally worth the freedom I get.

— Arnessa (@Rrrrnessa) September 7, 2016